“The Submissive”

With the completion of “The Cowbear,” I was eager to create a statement piece.

After hearing various people in the leather community discuss the current administration and how they feel “suppressed,” I knew it was time to produce this artwork. Originally, I intended to wait until the entire series was complete to make this piece. However, I’ve been experiencing different forms of suppression in my own life—not just politically.

Before going any further, I want to be clear: I’m not here to state my political views. That’s personal, and frankly, it’s no one’s business.

Suppression can take many forms—political, social, and, in my case, self-suppression. Over the past year, while creating art and connecting with different LGBT+ individuals and communities, I’ve received “hate” simply for being myself. While this isn’t new to me, and I used to brush it off, this time it feels personal. The hate I’ve experienced both in my personal life and in the workplace has led me to suppress parts of myself, for fear of being “overbearing” or “outspoken.” As a result, I’ve turned inward—focusing on my art and ideas, quietly working without sharing what’s coming next.

The Idea

Aside from suppression being the central theme, I also wanted to highlight the submissive role. To me, the two concepts are deeply connected, and I aimed to capture that. This idea emerged after I completed the portrait titled The Bad Guy, where the focus was always intended to be on the submissive role.

At first, I envisioned a model tied up, gazing at the viewer—physically restrained to represent suppression. But it didn’t quite hit the mark. Then, after completing a few more portraits, the concept evolved: a model standing and staring directly at the viewer, surrounded by hands. That image felt more powerful—more suppressive. The hands symbolized how others can have control or influence over your life.

The Reference

I want to extend a huge thank you to my friend Kona for being the muse for this piece, and to the other men who contributed their hands to the artwork. One of them, Sir Jay, may appear in another piece focusing on the Dominant role—so keep an eye out for that.

We shot this reference at the Empress Hotel, right before the Mr./Ms. New Jersey Leather Contest. The event was such a great time! I unveiled portraits of the previous year’s winners and had the joy of watching one of my friends take home the title. His portrait will be revealed at next year’s contest in the same fashion.

The Process

This piece measures 11 by 17 inches, making it one of the largest drawings I’ve ever created. It took me about 20 to 25 hours to complete the rendering, shading, and finally, the color. I was especially excited to explore color realism for the first time.

I experimented with blending and swatching to find the best tones for Kona’s skin. I also switched to a more expensive brand of colored pencils with far superior lightfastness than the Prismacolors I use for the Leather Men series. The quality is evident—these pencils are simply better for achieving realism.

I had so much footage of the process that I had to merge clips to fit within Instagram’s 1 minute and 30-second Reels limit.

The Submissive

This is one of my favorite works to date and will be featured in my upcoming art show. The date and time are still to be determined, but I already have a producer lined up to help bring the show to life.

I often find myself staring at this piece, still amazed that I created something so intricate. It takes me back to my middle school days when I would paint animals with vibrant backgrounds—only now, I have direction and purpose. Back then, I was just making art to make art. Today, I feel I have a message and something to prove—not only to myself, but to the world.

I know I can make it.